Delicious Tacos will have to be our little secret, Rosemary. Um, you might have to order these online?” Notice how she avoids eye contact as she dutifully keys in the title and says, “Sorry, we don’t have that one, either. Tell her it’s also a kind of love story and be sure to address her as “Rosemary” repeatedly (because that’s why they give them name tags, right?). Go ahead and ask about the other one – tell her it’s an apocalyptic novel called Finally, Some Good News.
The Barnes & Noble clerk – Rosemary – is probably hoping you will leave her alone by now. But after you’ve emerged from the madeleine-scented memory maze, I want you to try slumming with this serialized account of acute rectal trauma. If you're looking for writing that limns the penetralia of sensual and emotive experience, well, you should probably read Proust. Yet the truly curious thing that happens when you read about the suffering poop chute of a man who calls himself Delicious Tacos in a book called The Pussy is that it soon hits you just how improbably good it is – how, by means of comic timing and sharply rendered sense-rattling prose, Delicious Tacos slyly delivers on a lot of what's promised in a fucking Norton Anthology. They’ll make you clench your sphincter on reflex, which is something you don’t get from most literature. They’re hilarious, but also sort of … harrowing. Tell the Barnes & Noble clerk – her name is Rosemary it’s right there on her tag – that she has to read them, too. Now, back to the butt vignettes – the “Ass Variations.” You have to read these. They won't have it, but you will get to say, “I am looking for The Pussy by Delicious Tacos,” and then you will get to watch as the clerk – who looks to be about 23, plump but pretty, milky-white skin, auburn hair, a few tattoos, smells like peppermint – pecks these ridiculous words onto the keyboard to check the warehouse inventory.
First, here is something you can do for fun: The next time you visit your local brick & mortar Barnes & Noble, tell the bespectacled store clerk that you're looking for The Pussy by Delicious Tacos. I will return briefly to the writer’s rectum.
Tacos' outrageously problematic self-published story anthology, The Pussy. That micro-memoir of butthole affliction – the "Ass Variations," as I have dubbed it, though the actual chapter headings are styled “Ass Part 1,” “Ass Part 2,” etc.) – is nested like a polyp somewhere between the covers of Mr.
Pipsqueaks maze party series#
The writer presently known as Delicious Tacos is responsible for, among other things, a series of short confessional narratives that chronicle his agonizing ordeal with an anorectal abscess.
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